Reflections Of The Mind

I started therapy around 2019. I went to a few sessions that were very helpful and gave me a lot of insight. However with the pandemic, obviously I wasn’t able to go in to see my therapist. So I stopped going. During the pandemic, I was able to be around a great group of individuals from my small church group (Shout out Purpose Community Church!). I learned a lot and get close the congregation as a whole. It was a great time. I felt at peace even with the chaos of life and work coming at me. Toward the end of 2021, I found out my mom had heart failure and that if she didn’t get a heart procedure that she wouldn’t be alive for much longer. So her medical team was able to get in for the surgery for February of 2022. We went to appointment after appointment just trying to understand what kind of care she would require.

Once the surgery happened, my dad went to the emergency room for heart trouble. He was admitted and had to stay an entire week at the same time my mom was in the hospital recovering. To top it all off, he didn’t want me to tell my mom. Whew 😓 talk about a lot happening! Once my mom came home, we all kind of pitched and helped as much as we could. It was taxing to say the least. I was the one who took her to her three times a week physical therapy for 3 months. I’m not saying this to complain at all. I just want to give context. For most of 2022, my Dad, sister, and I were all care giving to my mom. At the end of the year, one of my mother’s brothers died. We held his funeral the first Saturday of the year.

From there, my family lost two great aunts, two cousins, and my paternal grandmother. In addition to that, my sister and I lost a mentor. This was all before March 15th! Again talk about a lot happening! I have regular checkins with my Pastor and he encouraged me to seek counseling. I’d like to say that I listened the first time lol but I didn’t. I decided within myself that I need to make sure that I was okay in every aspecting of my life. I kept seeing ads for BetterHelp.com. (This post isn’t sponsored my them. Hopefully one day it will be 🤞🏾) I took the plunge and have been in weekly therapy.

My experience thus far has been really good. By going to therapy I have kind of created a safety net for myself. Yes, I have Jesus and I drink tons of water. But I felt like something was missing for everything. It was the therapy aspect. I can honestly say that I feel much more confident. Much more in control. As I reflect on the past year or so of my life, I realize that by going to therapy I am doing something that my future self will appreciate.

and I love that.

Love, Life, Jesus,

Evelyn Denise

This Thang Ain't Easy

Alright so boom…it’s been awhile since I’ve written about my dating life. I started this blog to discuss modern dating from a Christian perspective. Well ya girl is in a full blown relationship 😱 Yup that’s right. A. Full. Blown. Relationship…

While there is excitement about him, us, and our future…there is still so much that needs to be done. I am a person that believes that you can do a lot of work on yourself outside of a relationship. BUT as much as you work on yourself prior life and circumstances still happen. What do you when sudden deaths occur or miscommunication arise. I know that for myself I was so used to being alone that there are things that don’t occur to me. Sometimes I don’t realize I have a teammate! I don’t realize that he wants to hear about what I’m interested in or the mundane things too. It’s definitely a shift/change of mindset. For so long, I’ve only had to consider my own feelings and what I wanted. I didn't have to consider anyone else. Again it is a shift in mindset.

As he and I go deeper in our relationship, I’m learning that this thang ain’t easy! I know that when it comes to relationships everyone in them says that it isn’t easy. I didn’t go into the relationship thinking that things were going to be rainbows, sunshine, and cotton candy (and I don’t even like cotton candy). I can honestly say that this relationship is pushing me and growing me in ways that I didn’t expect. We’ve had our share of disagreements. We’ve had points where I have cried and he’s cried. I’m pissed and he’s pissed. Although the time has been short for us, I can say that we are in a place of seeking to understand each other.

While this thang ain’t easy, I believe that we are both committed to growing individually and together. For myself, I have started weekly therapy which has been SO helpful. I’m learning to trust in myself and my capacity. (I am using Betterhelp.com) I will write in a separate post about my therapy journey. I will keep you all updated as much as possible on the happenings over here on #teamelementary. Just know that this thang ain’t easy but I know it will be worth it. 🤎💕

Love, Life, Jesus

Evelyn Denise

But I drink coffee though...

But I drink coffee though…

Modern Dating Techniques

Recently I had a girls’ night with the ladies. We discussed life and love. One of my friends and I are apart of a Facebook group call ‘Black, Single, Millenial, and Degreed.’ Now with that name you would think that there would be serious dating going on. Not. At. All. Though the group has provided me with hours of entertainment and a few conversations. I have not been lucky in the group as far as dating. My friend has had a bit more luck than I have. So let’s continue to wish her the best on that.

With dating over 30, there have been a few things that have always concerned me. The biggest thing that has concerned me with how a mid priced dinner equates to my vagina. This really has me confused. Why is there an expectation to be physically intimate with me because you purchased a mid priced dinner. A dinner that I have no problem with paying for? Why is it that men taking a woman on a date AUTOMATICALLY entitles them to have sex with me? The logic never made sense to me and it probably won’t ever. Because you spent $60 on a meal means that I’m supposed to have sex with you ??

I know that I repeated the same sentence in multiple ways but its the truth. I have experienced this and heard this from quite other women. Because of this, I’ve consciously made the decision to not go on dinner dates but to simply meet up for coffee. I feel like this is less pressure and I won’t try as hard. I like cute and casual. I also think that this reduces the chances that the focus will be on my vagina at the end of the date.

One of my favorite vendors is Jewish and just celebrated his daughter’s wedding not too long ago. One of the things that he told me about dating within Judaism is that the first meeting is usually over coffee. This is where I came up with the idea to just go for coffee. Again I think its less pressure and I feel as if the interaction doesn’t go well at least it was just coffee. Especially because it seems that most men that I personally have encounter and my friends have encountered are averse thought of dating and spending money.

Within the group of Facebook, women from all over the country have posted screenshoots of Zelle and CashApp request for their half of the meal. Listen, its never nothing to come up with my half however I don’t think that I should have to. In order to avoid all of that foolishness I’d rather meet up at a cute coffee shop.

Modern dating seems to just want to go for the physical and not enough of getting to know the other person. Because of this, a lot more people have children with people that they don’t even like. What’s even funnier is that the men with children want to come in with their standards on raising children. Sir…excuse my good man…where was all that energy BEFORE you had a baby with this woman that you said that you can’t stand? But that’s another post for another time.

The next time someone asks me on a date… My response is simple: “ I prefer not to go to dinner but I drink coffee though.”

Love, Life, Jesus

Evelyn Denise

Pyer Moss

Pyer Moss

Pyer Moss dazzles on the runway while pay homage to Black inventors that prove time hasn’t forgotten them.

I’ve been somewhat out of the loop in terms of what is happening within the fashion world. No particular reason why. I’ve just been focusing locally on the fashion scene and how I can continue to make an impact. But I’ve decided that I can’t continue to play small. (That’s for another post) So I’m looking out into the world. One show that caught my attention was the Pyer Moss Haute Couture Show. (I’ve embedded the video below) I saw a blogger on Instagram at the show doing a live video. The show was initially rescheduled because it rained very heavily. The rain was due to a tropical storm Elsa which has hit the Midwest pretty hard. The crowd waited outside in the rain for almost an hour before the show was called off. But that didn’t stop people from coming back. 

Kerby Jean-Raymond, the founder and creative director behind Pyer Moss, did not disappoint. Elaine Brown, a chairwoman for the Black Panthers, opened the show with an eloquent speech quoting from the Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.  ‘Where do we go from here?’. Having dealt with pandemic and racial injustices over the past year this question is perfectly timed. This is a perfect time to re-evaluate and overhaul the fashion industry. Again that’s for another post.  

The fashion show was a walk through Black inventions that either a person didn’t know or were lost in American history. It was truly something to see. The colors, fabrics, and overall design aesthetics were truly dazzling. These designs weren’t just talking, they were clearly making a STATEMENT. Everything was done in excellence. From the venue, which was Madame C.J. Walker's estate, to the orchestra, to the performers I loved it all. The show overall ignited my passion for fashion again and I’m really excited about it. 

Cheers to Black creatives, fashion, and style!

Love, Life, and Jesus

Evelyn Denise

Je suis frustre

Je suis frustrate

Y’all I’m frustrated…

I am frustrated. There is no other way to say it. I’m truly 100% frustrated. To be honest, I’m not sure which way to go. What to do. I feel like I’m just out here. I can’t really describe it. Do you ever feel like you’re doing everything you feel is correct and nothing seems to be going right? That's where I am currently. It feels like I’m making the wrong decisions. It feels like I’m doing nothing right. I’m not sure if I’m even on the right track. 

At times like this, I try not to sink into the feeling. The feelings feel as if they will swallow you alive. It is something that feels difficult to shake or get out of. I wanted to share these feelings mostly because writing is one of my outlets. Also I wanted to continue to be transparent. I wanted to share because I know that others struggle with this as well. There are times when life just seems to hit you hard and I feel like it's been hitting me super hard lately. One of the things that I hate about some influencers, bloggers, etc is not being honest with how they are feeling. 

As a Christian woman, it seems that I am supposed to have it all together all the time. Because I am a minister, I’m really supposed to have it all together. But that just isn't me. Mostly because I’ve struggled with depression for most of my life (that’s going to be a separate post). Having dealt and sometimes still dealing with it, I’ve been trying to be intentional about my feelings. I’m trying to speak my feelings out loud and not allow them to have control over me. To me speaking my feelings out loud gives me power over them because I can name. Naming them allows me to have dominion over them. 

So in times like this, I know I need to draw closer to God. I just feel it in the very center of myself. The frustration is because I’m trying to do something on my own instead of including God in it. I’m very independent and I do most things on my own. Being in this season with God, I’m coming to terms that I’m not supposed to be doing these things on my own. Mostly because I’m not in control of the next steps. With that being said, here are some of the things that I plan to do to ease my frustration.

1. Continue to acknowledge my frustration- I am a firm believer that we have to lean into our feelings. I don’t mean to allow the feelings to overtake me.I lean in to try to understand the root cause of why I’m feeling this. 

2. Be very intentional about my time with God-I am not an early riser. I really hate it alot. David wrote in Psalms 63:1 :

“O God, You are my God; I earnestly search for you. My soul thirsts for you;...”

So I try to quiet myself. I seek God throughout my entire day from the beginning to the end. My relationship with God is very open so I talk to him like I would my friend. Because at the end of the day He DESIRES RELATIONSHIP WITH ME. Its simple. God wants me to talk to him so I do. I think we often think that God wants us to go into long drawn out prayers. That isn’t the case at all. He just wants us to be us. I also tend to listen to all worship music and play it in my office to just set the atmosphere. I want it to be clear that God has clearance to move, speak, and do whatever else is necessary. 

3. I try to limit my time on social media. - I think this part is very important. For myself, I know that I can go down a rabbit hole with social media. I also know that it is very important to center myself. My entire goal is to seek God and I know that I cannot do that if I’m in the social media rabbit hole.

As I seek God, I encourage you all to do the same. I encourage you to use these steps and add whatever else you feel is necessary. 

Love, Life, and Jesus

Evelyn Denise 

I did a thing

I did a thing:

Meet your new ambassador for All things Boudoir.

Well ya girl just became an ambassador for All Things Boudoir !! (this photo is from another shoot I did 2 years ago)  I’m really excited about this new opportunity. It's one of those things that I saw on Facebook and I didn’t really think I would win but I did. When I submitted for the ambassadorship, the questionnaire asked why I wanted to do this. I wrote that I wanted to show that Christian women can be sexy. That we are allowed to have sexuality. As I wrote those words, I realized that I do want to show Christian women that we can be sexy. I realized that this topic is something that is near and dear to me. Not exactly sure why to be honest but it is. Its honestly becoming a larger passion of mine. 

I’ve always be intrigued by the concept of sex and Christianity. I remember being in teen class and wanting to have a larger conversation on the topic. So I went to the leaders and asked to have the conversation. But the request fell on deaf ears. After that moment, I decided to learn more about sex on my own. So I did. I read articles. I watched documentaries and HBO. My journey on learning about sex was purely secular. What I learned was that sex was supposed to be passionate. It was supposed to be between people who should have a shared interest in each other or at least the act that was to follow. 

The most interesting thing was that sex was supposed to be enjoyed by men and only tolerated by women. Women who desired sex were lewd and should be shamed into silence. Overt sexaulity was something that should not be exuded from a woman. Women who talked openly about ‘it’ were to be avoided. But why? Why, if I had questions, did I have to search the internet, documentaries, and HBO? Didn’t God create sex? Isn’t everything that God created good? Why should I be ashamed to have questions (that mostly went unanswered) I decided that doing this partnership with All Things Boudoir would be good to bring the message of sexuality forward. 

Follow me as I prepare for the shoot. You guys will be with me on the journey as I decide what outfits to wear, hair styling, make up etc. Most importantly you guys will help me mentally prepare. I’m excited to have you guys on the journey with me. Until next time. 

Love, Life, and Jesus

Evelyn Denise 

Is It A Virtue?

Things are especially frustrating this year. I’ve personally experienced a lot of loss and death this year. As the holidays approach, the hopeless romantic comes out of me and it is something that I can’t help but to wrap around myself like a sweater.  Usually I can suppress my feelings about being single during the holiday season but this year is a whole different animal. I must say that I’ve been feeling a little like I want to be the protagonist in a Christmas movie on the HallMark channel. *le sigh* I'm sure that I am not the only one that has felt this way. I wanted to be transparent on my feelings during this time of year. I felt like all too often in Christendom we talk about the wait and how important it is. However I think that it is important to give ourselves the space to be human. To have feelings.To want to have someone. To cuddle on the couch and watch movies and drink hot chocolate. (sis we have to keep it at watching movies. Know your triggers) 

In 2020, we all have been through so much. We’ve seen, felt, and experienced so much. We’ve dealt with feelings of isolation. Feelings of fear. Feelings of uncertainty. I’m here to say that this is completely normal. It's normal to want to have someone close to help ease the anxiety. To go through these unprecedented times with. There have been some moments of sadness and some moments of happiness. 

It seems my life this year has been punctuated with funerals and sadness. It has been a trying time, and I’ve shed more tears than I can count. I’ve had a number of emotions but I try not wallow in. Give yourself space to be human. Space to feel and to work through your emotions. I’m here with you sis. We can get it through it together. 

Love, Life, and Jesus, 

Evelyn Denise

Open

Open

I’ve decided to be open to all possibilities

I had a conversation with one of my girlfriends yesterday. We spent the day shooting photos for content for our various social media, blogs, youtube videos, etc. We took turns taking each other’s picture and enjoying the day. We talked about what we usually do. Men. We are both in the space of wanting committed relationships that will lead to marriage. We both decided that it would be beneficial to both of us to be open to men who aren’t necessarily our ‘type’. We called one of our other girlfriends just to check on her and again we discussed the topic again. It seems that our ‘types’ haven’t gotten us much of anything. I can tell you our hearts are battered and bruised yet we all remain hopeful that we will indeed find men who understand us and actually want to get married. 

This brief post is about all of us who want to be married and aren’t having any luck. Sis, let’s remain open. Let’s keep our hopes and faith in it. Let’s also try to not settle for a ‘piece’ of anything. We deserve more. We deserve to be loved wholly, completely, and unreservedly. Be open. 

Love, Life, and Jesus, 

Evelyn Denise

The Reality Of Big Girl Panties

The Reality of Big Girl Panties

Sometimes you have to pull them up.

I started to write about my most recent 'relationship'. I started to write about how we met and how I felt after everything ended between us. But in looking back on things I realized that although things didn't go the way that I wanted them to I learned a great deal. I try to look at every experience as a learning lesson. For clarity, his moniker will be FratBoy. I might write about him in future posts and I want sure that you all know who I'm referencing. As I look back on how everything played out here are my reflections.

1.Head to Head Competition- FratBoy challenged me in ways that I couldn't imagine. He asked probing questions and wouldn't accept surface level responses. Let me tell you that this wasn't easy. I'm used to what I say is what I said and that's it. But he would go further and dig deeper. This made me more pensive, it made me sharper, and it made me choose my words more carefully.

2. Come and Talk to Me- I consider myself a decent communicator. I have to be clear and concise professionally and also when I'm working with clients. I have to relay information in a way that is easily understood. FratBoy definitely burst my bubble on this one. Whilst I'm great at professionally communicating, I'm terrible at communicating my feelings and talking about myself. This is one of the areas where we would butt heads on ALOT. Mostly because I wouldn't be open and up front about how I was feeling. I was so used to not being vulnerable that it backfired on me. FratBoy would make me sit down at the dining room table or on the couch and talk. "Stop Fidgeting" he would also reprimand me. Trust me it was so very uncomfortable for me but it made me confident in my voice. The practice of sitting and not moving until I talked was helpful in the development of my voice. I'm finding myself advocating and speaking up for myself which is something that I hadn't done prior.

3. Ugly Duckling-One of the things that FratBoy would point out was that I had ugly duckling syndrome. I guess the best way to describe 'Ugly Duckling Syndrome' would be that a person has reached adulthood without realizing that they aren't the kid that they grew up as. They are the boy or girl who had to catch up with their ears or that their facial features are now attractive. He would notice that I was oblivious to almost everything around me because I live in my own head most of the time. Most notably he would point out how other men reacted to me. He would say "You really didn't notice how so and so looked at you? or How so and so's voice would get deeper when speaking to you?" My response would be one of confusion. Growing up in the 90's, there weren't black girls that looked like me on tv or in magazines. Which is something that had nothing to do with him but something that I am figuring out for myself. Being short, round, and dark I'd come to the conclusion that there wasn't necessarily a place for me in the category of attractiveness for black women. He would often remind in subtle ways that this wasn't the case. Or not so subtly say "If you weren't cute..." lol.

I named this post the Reality of Big Girl Panties because as I truly dissect the relationship with FratBoy I now understand that it was all a learning lesson. While FratBoy had many flaws of his own, I'm not here to bash or discredit him. I look back on everything that we went through and see the lessons taught and learned. As I'm on this dirty thirties journey, I have to face the reality that I am responsible for every interaction that I have with the opposite sex. Ultimately we "ended" because we didn't want the same things relationship wise. To be honest, that hurt but I deep down I knew. I knew that he didn't want the same things I wanted. That's where I had to pull my big girl panties up and accept that. He didn't take advantage of me. He was as gentlemanly as possible while all of this was going on. I thought it would be helpful to some of you because oftentimes we push most of the blame on men for the downfall of a relationship. In what areas can you take responsibility? There are many lessons that I learned from FratBoy which I will probably write about in future posts but I want to let you ladies know that sometimes we have to face reality and pull up our big girl panties.

Life, Love, and Jesus,

Evelyn Denise

Uneasy Head

Uneasy Head

Unless lies the head that wears the crown

I have been having a rough time at my current job. I have been with the company for almost two years. We recently hired a new CFO who is a woman of color as well as I am. (She is Indian) So I’ve been trying to continue to do well within my current position. Prior to her coming, I was given enormous amounts of praise for the speed and efficiency that completed tasks. However since she has been here it feels as if I can’t do anything correctly. Most of 2021 has been a real struggle. So I created an incident report of my experiences with her. I included excerpts from emails. I spoke nothing but the truth. I went in with Human Resources after feeling overwhelming anxiety most of the day. Before I went in I thought, “Okay, Evelyn, you’ve got nothing but facts to back you up. Go in there with facts not emotions.” I sat down and I immediately broke down. Instead of feeling empowered I felt embarrassed. Hot shame rolled over me and I broke down even more. I had to question myself. Why did this moment of vulnerability cause me to feel embarrassed? Isn’t that what Human Resources is for? 

I realized it was because as a black woman I am EXPECTED to keep it together. I am EXPECTED to show no emotion. I am EXPECTED not to crack. I am EXPECTED to not do what I did which was to be filled with anxiety. I talked to Frat Boy about the situation prior to me going to Human Resources. He gave me some really good advice but he’s always more tough than love. In some cases, it's great because it is what I need to hear but in other cases it's not. Again the realization that as a black woman, I’m not allowed to be soft and show my emotions. Even though my white counterparts are allowed to have the full spectrum of emotions. Where does it end? Why do I have to be a pseudo gang member in every situation? 

The crown sometimes gets heavy. The cape sometimes encumbers my movements. 

I’ve given myself permission to have days where I simply take my crown off and I’m okay with that. A real queen knows her limits and adjusts accordingly. Simply put, I’m tired. That’s it. Plain and simple. I’ve worked and have continued to work on side hustles and upcoming projects. When is it my time to just sit and do something special just for me? In a world of self care, I desire to be luxurious and carefree. 

The crown and cape will be replaced shortly. I just need a break from it all. 

Love, Life, Jesus, 

Evelyn Denise

W.A.P

W.A.P

Cardi and Megan thee Stallion team up to bring us a little something interesting

Cardi B and Megan thee Stallion teamed up recently to bring us a girls anthem that has caused quite a stir. Everyone seems to have an opinion on the lyrics and the video. Well I'm throwing my humble opinion into the ring even though there seems to be so many thoughts on it. But I want to share my opinions about W.A.P in regards to what I've seen from men.

It seems that men have the most to say about the song and the lyrics. I think it's interesting that most men  can tell you what qualities it takes for a woman to become a wife. Yet their mothers aren't wives...No shade just facts here. How can you tell me what makes a wife when you didn't grow up without ever seeing one...?  How do you fix your mouth to condemn women celebrating their sexuality like men have for literal decades? These are also the same men who have no intentions on becoming husbands. So do they feel the need to comment on a lifestyle that they don't want to be apart of? Most likely because they just want to hear the sound of their own voices. The lyrics are no different than most male rapper lyrics. I think that there is something powerful about a woman owning her sexuality. (which I wrote about here. )

Apparently the song and its contents are being mentioned over the pulpit. Which is curious because although the song is a part of pop culture little to nothing is being said about John Gray.Both situations deserve attention but because Cardi and Megan are women what they've done is cause for shame. Hypocrisy seems to be the reason why little is said about John Gray's latest headline. Songs like W.A.P have been created for decades from male and female rappers. There have been videos that are a whole lot worse than W.A.P. So why the sudden need to discuss this particular song and video? Is it to stay "relevant" amongst their congregation? I'm not sure but I think the whole hoopla around the song and video are unnecessary. Especially when there are things happening within the Christian community that should be addressed. ( i.e. voter suppression, police brutality, etc)

Again I feel like most men have a hard time accepting that the women are accepting and owning their sexuality. Sexuality is something that is seen as something that men own and women have but only use when we want something. Now women are vocal about their sexual desires and it seems that men aren't having it. It's time to be honest and open women have sexual drives just like men do. Get Over It! Women desire and want great sex as well as love, respect, and companionship. 

The topic of sex has been taboo for far too long. We need to have open and honest conversations about sex and its consequences. We also need to place this God created phenomena in the correct container. Marriage. We need to stop being afraid of having conversations thinking this “gives our children license to have sex”. In all honesty, they probably discuss sex and other topics on the way to school on the schoolbus or in the cafeteria. Let’s stop being afraid of the literal first command God gave to man. “Be fruitful and multiply.” God said to Adam and Eve even before he said take dominion over the earth. Why are we so afraid of sex? 

We will pick up the sex topic in the next post.

Love, Life, and Jesus

Evelyn Denise 

You Take The Good...

I like to keep things organized. I try to plan ahead whenever it is possible. Ask my friends. I will send out a list of summer activities including birthdays and other special events. I like to try to keep things neat and in order. 2020 has been a year for the books but one of the things that hit me especially hard was the death of one of my classmates from college. We weren’t especially close in college but through Facebook we chatted a lot. She was pregnant nearing the end of her third trimester and it was really exciting. She was proposed to on New Year’s Eve 2019 and she wrote about how special it was for her. I commented and wrote her messages about how extremely happy I was for her. Her engagement story wasn’t unlike what I’ve heard from most women. Because it happened to her it gave me so much hope about my own future. Imagine my shock and horror, when I found out about her death and the death of her unborn baby girl Z. Losing her hit me so hard because it was like her life was just beginning. Her happiness. Her future was all just gone. Literally she was online commenting and sharing posts and then she wasn’t. She was otherwise healthy.

I started with that story because over the years I’ve been trying to prepare myself and my body for childbirth. I had been diagnosed previously with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome and to be honest it scares me. It scares me to think that one of the things that I want most in life is to be a mom (after I become a wife. The order is quite important to me) may not happen. As you guys know, I’m single. Again to be honest, being single is a struggle for me. I have good days and not so good days. I am not a person who believes that you shouldn’t question God. (the whole book of Habbakuk is questions and answers) I know that God is sovereign. Even this saying is cliche. We don’t know exactly what we are saying when it. One definition from Merriam Webster says that sovereignty is defined as freedom from external control. Let’s also reference Romans 8:28 as well ...all things work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. 

Putting those two things together, I’ve concluded that all things mean ALL THINGS. It means that good and especially the bad. It means that God doesn’t have to provide me answers on what happened to my friend. Or even why I have PCOS. Why I have to struggle twice as hard to lose those extra pounds than a normal person. I just know that it has to be a part of a larger plan. I am reminded of the poem “The Weaver” by Grant Colfax Tuller. I won’t write the whole poem a stanza instead. 

“My life is but a weaving 

Between my God and Me 

I cannot choose the colors 

He weaveth steadily.”

As I continue on this journey of life, I have to know that he has chosen the things that would color my life. Allowed the things that would build my character. That he has stopped the attacks that would have caused me more harm than good. 

Love, Life, and Jesus, 

Evelyn Denise

Love, Lifestyle and Jesus

Love, Life, and Jesus

I’m back behind the keyboard

Why Love, Lifestyle and Jesus? Why did I decide to start writing (again)?

I decided to pick up my pen rather sit at my keyboard because I wanted to create a platform that I didn't necessarily see. I wanted a space to talk about the things that myself and my girlfriends are going through in our 30's. Life. Fashion. Love. Men. Entanglements. Jesus. Everything! I grew up in church my entire life. #churchkid; 😶 So my perspective is from that of faith. I want to be clear that some things that I write here may be controversial but I want to be as real and as raw as possible. The platform that I didn't see in this space of black Christian women was an open and honest conversation about well... Love, Lifestyle, and Jesus to be honest. On this side of thirty, I'm loving Jesus, single, building a business, planning events, and going to brunches. I'm enjoying life, going out to events, and doing community service. In the midst of everything that I am doing, there is a desire to be married,to be a wife, and to be a mom. The space that I am looking for was an authentic conversation about singleness, sex, dating, and of course Jesus! My plan for this blog is to share and be real. So sit back, relax, and enjoy my Dirty Thirties Journey.

Love, Life, and Jesus,

Evelyn Denise