But I drink coffee though...

But I drink coffee though…

Modern Dating Techniques

Recently I had a girls’ night with the ladies. We discussed life and love. One of my friends and I are apart of a Facebook group call ‘Black, Single, Millenial, and Degreed.’ Now with that name you would think that there would be serious dating going on. Not. At. All. Though the group has provided me with hours of entertainment and a few conversations. I have not been lucky in the group as far as dating. My friend has had a bit more luck than I have. So let’s continue to wish her the best on that.

With dating over 30, there have been a few things that have always concerned me. The biggest thing that has concerned me with how a mid priced dinner equates to my vagina. This really has me confused. Why is there an expectation to be physically intimate with me because you purchased a mid priced dinner. A dinner that I have no problem with paying for? Why is it that men taking a woman on a date AUTOMATICALLY entitles them to have sex with me? The logic never made sense to me and it probably won’t ever. Because you spent $60 on a meal means that I’m supposed to have sex with you ??

I know that I repeated the same sentence in multiple ways but its the truth. I have experienced this and heard this from quite other women. Because of this, I’ve consciously made the decision to not go on dinner dates but to simply meet up for coffee. I feel like this is less pressure and I won’t try as hard. I like cute and casual. I also think that this reduces the chances that the focus will be on my vagina at the end of the date.

One of my favorite vendors is Jewish and just celebrated his daughter’s wedding not too long ago. One of the things that he told me about dating within Judaism is that the first meeting is usually over coffee. This is where I came up with the idea to just go for coffee. Again I think its less pressure and I feel as if the interaction doesn’t go well at least it was just coffee. Especially because it seems that most men that I personally have encounter and my friends have encountered are averse thought of dating and spending money.

Within the group of Facebook, women from all over the country have posted screenshoots of Zelle and CashApp request for their half of the meal. Listen, its never nothing to come up with my half however I don’t think that I should have to. In order to avoid all of that foolishness I’d rather meet up at a cute coffee shop.

Modern dating seems to just want to go for the physical and not enough of getting to know the other person. Because of this, a lot more people have children with people that they don’t even like. What’s even funnier is that the men with children want to come in with their standards on raising children. Sir…excuse my good man…where was all that energy BEFORE you had a baby with this woman that you said that you can’t stand? But that’s another post for another time.

The next time someone asks me on a date… My response is simple: “ I prefer not to go to dinner but I drink coffee though.”

Love, Life, Jesus

Evelyn Denise