Reflections Of The Mind

I started therapy around 2019. I went to a few sessions that were very helpful and gave me a lot of insight. However with the pandemic, obviously I wasn’t able to go in to see my therapist. So I stopped going. During the pandemic, I was able to be around a great group of individuals from my small church group (Shout out Purpose Community Church!). I learned a lot and get close the congregation as a whole. It was a great time. I felt at peace even with the chaos of life and work coming at me. Toward the end of 2021, I found out my mom had heart failure and that if she didn’t get a heart procedure that she wouldn’t be alive for much longer. So her medical team was able to get in for the surgery for February of 2022. We went to appointment after appointment just trying to understand what kind of care she would require.

Once the surgery happened, my dad went to the emergency room for heart trouble. He was admitted and had to stay an entire week at the same time my mom was in the hospital recovering. To top it all off, he didn’t want me to tell my mom. Whew 😓 talk about a lot happening! Once my mom came home, we all kind of pitched and helped as much as we could. It was taxing to say the least. I was the one who took her to her three times a week physical therapy for 3 months. I’m not saying this to complain at all. I just want to give context. For most of 2022, my Dad, sister, and I were all care giving to my mom. At the end of the year, one of my mother’s brothers died. We held his funeral the first Saturday of the year.

From there, my family lost two great aunts, two cousins, and my paternal grandmother. In addition to that, my sister and I lost a mentor. This was all before March 15th! Again talk about a lot happening! I have regular checkins with my Pastor and he encouraged me to seek counseling. I’d like to say that I listened the first time lol but I didn’t. I decided within myself that I need to make sure that I was okay in every aspecting of my life. I kept seeing ads for BetterHelp.com. (This post isn’t sponsored my them. Hopefully one day it will be 🤞🏾) I took the plunge and have been in weekly therapy.

My experience thus far has been really good. By going to therapy I have kind of created a safety net for myself. Yes, I have Jesus and I drink tons of water. But I felt like something was missing for everything. It was the therapy aspect. I can honestly say that I feel much more confident. Much more in control. As I reflect on the past year or so of my life, I realize that by going to therapy I am doing something that my future self will appreciate.

and I love that.

Love, Life, Jesus,

Evelyn Denise